A lot has happened since I’ve been home. Decisions have been made and re-made, and for those of you wondering what my next move is, I’m ready to share…
There will be more house projects on this blog. At least for a little while, until the house is ready to sell. Instead of rushing off to a new continent as originally planned, I’ve decided to take a few months to finish remodeling this house properly before putting it on the market. This includes a master bathroom remodel, converting the old laundry hallway into a utility/storage space, a light refresh downstairs and some curb appeal quick fixes. While these will still be done on a budget, there won’t be as much DIY involved—mostly due to time constraints and lack of desire, as my focus is now in other areas. Which also means I likely won’t be posting as much or as in depth. I’ve always said that I’ll never force this blogging thing. As soon as it becomes contrived or no longer fun, I’m done. To avoid that, I only write about what motivates me—what I’m passionate about… and right now, remodeling isn’t at the top of my list. Once I get started on the process I’ll probably be more excited about it, but as of now, there are other things on my mind.
I’ve been home for exactly two weeks which is hard to believe because it feels like months, yet some mornings I’ll wake up expecting to be in a hostel somewhere in Asia. I’m still in the travel time warp—a phenomenon that occurs when a week feels like a month, and months become years—in the best way possible.
When traveling, there are no mundane or forgettable days that drag on and blend into one another while you’re daydreaming and anticipating what you’d rather be doing in the future. Every day is filled with new places, people, adventures, experiences and emotions and most importantly, memories that will stay with you forever. The type of memories that are normally gained just once a month or quarter or even year—but no day is wasted while traveling. Time, our most valuable asset, is not lost. It’s the only way I know how to live a longer life within the same lifespan.
I was scared to come back to “reality”. Just like the low points I experienced on my trip after waves of riding highs, I was certain I’d come crashing down, hard. Mentally prepared, I arrived just in time for Thanksgiving and focused on appreciating the luxuries I’d been missing—like almond milk, ranch dressing, a curling iron and comfortable bed. Alone in my house still decorated for spring, I felt a little spoiled. Look at all this stuff I’ve never used, in this giant house with rooms I don’t use…
The transition wasn’t bad. I sorted through stacks of mail, reacquainted myself with the programs and systems in place to run my business, did some reorganizing, ran through inventory and hit the ground running, just in time for the holiday rush. So far, so good.
But then there was the million dollar question, the one that started to creep in the last few weeks of my trip and loomed over me the moment I arrived home—What now? What am I going to do with my life?
Every free moment was dedicated to solving this mystery. I read books and blogs and magazines for inspiration and listened to podcasts and watched videos and talked to people and journaled and wrote lists and spreadsheets and tossed and turned all night, trying to figure out my purpose in this world and what I really want to do for the next sixty years.
I started to worry that I wouldn’t ever decide. Maybe I’d settle on something that wasn’t quite right and waste my time on work I wasn’t completely passionate about. Maybe I’d continue doing exactly what I was doing now, and wander the globe without a real purpose. A full time nomad. But that didn’t sit well with me either.
Then, last week while sitting at my desk, it hit me. I had an epiphany. Suddenly it all made sense. I’ve found my calling… I know what I want to do with my life.
For a handful of reasons, I won’t be going into any more detail for now. It’s something that will take months to get started, and I haven’t had a chance to put together a real plan yet, but I feel this one in my gut. It was that same feeling I had when I made the best decision of my life by starting over. I just know that this is what I must do. Without realizing it, I’ve been carrying a weight around with me for years. It took traveling across the world to release it, but a much lighter version of myself returned on that plane. I’ve never felt more free and unbound by anything, and in this moment, I can honestly say I’m even happier than those “pinch-me-I’m-dreaming” moments in Asia—because this isn’t temporary, it’s real life now. I have real goals to work towards, and right now the world feels wide open… nothing can hold me back.
When I first announced my life changing news, I referenced this quote at the end of the post:
You are the designer of your destiny. You are the author. You write the story. The pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose.
These words really spoke to me five months ago when I was agonizing over the most difficult decision of my life, and never are they more relevant than this moment. It’s easy to run away and escape it all, but now the real test begins. I’m so ready for this new challenge. Bring it on, life.