I’d like to introduce you to someone very special…
Lucas and I met in Vietnam last fall. He was also on an extended solo travel journey and we connected after learning we lived just hours from each other.
I came home with plans to travel full time once the house was sold, but something was stopping me. The same something that told me to change my life last year. The one I swore I’d never ignore again, so here I am in San Francisco with the most amazing, unexpected souvenir I could ask for.
While deep down I knew this was the right decision, it has not been easy to let go of the life I gave up. I was so scared I’d never get to feel that surreal state of being experienced while in Asia, and that the most defining journey of my life would become nothing more than faded memories.
Those memories became painful to think about, let alone talk about to others. I had to unfollow every social media account sharing pictures and stories from the places I visited, to avoid the sickness in the pit of my stomach each time they appeared on my screen. I often wondered what I’d be doing in this moment if I’d stuck with the original plan—where I’d be, who I’d be with, what new sights and sounds I would be surrounded by. The “what-if” has been the most difficult thing I’ve had to come to terms with, but then I look back to exactly one year ago during the most painful decision of my life. The one where I listened to that quiet voice telling me to let go of the vows I made six years ago—the decision that lead me places I never thought possible. Your intuition doesn’t always lead to the easiest path, but if you stay on it, eventually you’ll understand why.
Two days before moving to San Francisco I was on a lake, staring into the sky and it hit me. It was the feeling I couldn’t put into words—the same one felt while floating in the ocean in the Philippines and in the streets of Vietnam and in the plane above Bangkok. For a moment there was pure clarity—I was whole and complete. For those few seconds of bliss, everything in life made perfect sense.
It was the first time I’d experienced that feeling since Asia, and it was only then that I was able to let go of my hesitations about not continuing to travel. And now for the past week living in my new city I’ve felt it every morning—that split second when I wake up smiling because reality is more beautiful than anything I could dream of.
I can’t predict the future, but right now, I’m exactly where I belong.
I’ll be out of the country for the next ten days with limited contact, but will check in when I can on instagram, facebook and snapchat @ jennasuedesign. And the following week will begin a new era of more personal vlogs, now that the secret’s out 🙂
Here’s to new beginnings…